Saturday, September 23, 2006
這是一份沒有送出的禮物, 一直擱置在我的抽屜裡多年, 沒有送出, 都是因為一個字: 懶.
揭開第一頁, 看見自己的英文筆跡, 是95年十二月, 那時還在美國. 小書本是送給從另一個州過來探訪的友人, 書中我更夾了一張四女一男(包括友人和我自己)的相片, 是相中一女友人沖曬給他的, 相的背後也是寫上上下款名字. 十一年了, 我這個冒失人上個月才見到這個從美國回來兩星期的友人也沒有把這個送給他, 或許小書永遠都留在我處.
那年十分流行這本"Life's Little Instruction Book", 作者是H. Jackson Brown, Jr., 都是一個父親寫給兒子的金錫良言. 我這本是Volume III. 昨晚翻看了一回, 揀了一些我喜歡的和你們分享:
1120 . Don't be critical of your wife's friends.
1161 . When you need to apologize to someone, do it in person.
1183 . Whenever you hear an ambulance siren, say a prayer for the person inside.
1187 . Spoil your wife, not your children.
1214 . Underestimate when guessing an adult's age or weight.
1215 . Overestimate when guessing someone's salary.
1293 . Dress for the position you want, not the one you have.
1295 . Don't write down anything you don't want someone else to read.
1333 . When a woman is in the hospital, give her a soft, stuffed animal instead of flowers.
1372 . On long-distance road trips, make sure that someone besides the driver stays awake.
1382 . When eating either cinnamon rolls or prime rib, eat the center first.
1404 . Be grateful that God doesn't answer all your prayers.
1418 . Carry a couple of inexpensive umbrellas in your car that you can give to people caught in the rain.
1422 . If you ever own rental property, remember that an unrented house is better than a bad tenant.
1426 . Never make fun of people who speak broken English. It means they know another language.
-十分同意. 上星期二姊去買咖啡時, 聽到一個十分討人厭的老外不友善地對待咖啡店的職員:
老外: How much?
店員: Tran ti six peace...
老外: How much?!
店員: Tran ti six sir
老外重複再問, 店員重複再答, 糾纏了數十秒. 然後死老外忽然聽懂,
說: "Oh, TWENTY-six! Now I know I am in another country!"
我這個惡人, 如果在場, 一定會叫個死老外學些廣東話才來買咖啡. 如果咖啡店員能操流利英語也不用在那裡工作吧. 二姊那時沒他好氣, 沒有理會, 但心裡很想說, 你一定是第一次離開你偉大的國家美國吧?!
1430 . When you need something done, ask a busy person.
1439 . When you are angry with someone who means a lot to you, write a letter telling him or her why you feel that way - but don't mail it.
1441 . Never keep a free ride waiting.
1452 . When someone you know is down and out, mail them a twenty-dollar bill anonymously.
1482 . Never date anyone who has more than two cats.
1525 . Watch what you eat at cocktail parties. Each hors d'oeuvre has about one hundred calories.
1540 . Don't obligate yourself to a home mortgage larger than three times your family's annual income.
1548 . Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming; you have to start over again every morning.